August 11, 2008

• Due to numerous reasons I find myself in Vegas. I’ve just come in from dancing for hours. It shows me the different experiences I can have and how to embrace them.

  Tonight I watched so many “young people” falling over themselves drunk and clumsily groping at each other. I also saw couples taking an opportunity to create some fun, excitement, and intimacy which is a great relationship enhancement.

  As I waded in the pool Earlier i enjoyed having in depth conversations and laughing. I loved not knowing what time it was because I chose not to wear my watch. Even in my brief moments of frustration I can find places to grow, push myself, and explore the depths of my personality and that of others – and that’s while taking time off!

  How much I’ve learned and I’m glad for the changes I’ve made. They were not for others but really for myself. I know myself now better (the good, bad, and ugly) and I can accept myself. Accepting others for who they really are – by their actions – has really released me from my naivety and pain. Making a choice based on that acceptance can be difficult but freeing.

  Here is a silly thing I accept – I’m terrible @ golf. I’ve only done it a few times but I’m grateful for patient, longsuffering teachers..I love that I have a cute golf bag and no clubs yet .I accept that I love dancing even though I realize that I’m more prone to lose my rhythm (gasp!). I accept that the ultimate love of my life is the only thing that I’ll take. Doesn’t mean that things will be perfect or that there won’t be difficulty, but I’m willing to work harder than I’ve ever had and there will be no comprise regarding the qualities of my partner. Nope. Been there done that.

  I accept that I can be stubborn and realize that its a defense mechanism because I’d rather do something on my own rather than depend on someone who is fallible (hey – aren’t we all?!?) actually, its someone who has demonstrated that they are undependable. But when my love language is shown, I can release that fear and disappointment.I’ve also worked on speaking the other persons love language too. It goes both ways and it works with those that are emotionally safe

  Lol – ok. I know I’m rambling. I feel like expressing myself. You are my captive audience at the moment (heh heh). Everyone else is sleeping like I should be doing. But…I’m about to take a Jacuzzi tub THEN I’ll quietly fall into bed.

  I’ll ramble more later!

  • 5:08 am
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