Do we really live in the moment or does our history and past play into our daily lives?

If our perception is truth, then does the pain, heartache, joy, and hope distort what our future is…even if we are willing to dream, do you dare to?

If we have the willingness to learn from our mistakes, acknowledge our choices, be honest with ourselves, be authentic and real with others, I believe we can really realize true love and intimacy.

We have to learn to be aware of the ties of our past that we intentionally hold onto can keep us from growing, learning, and being free.  We cannot be free until we discipline and retrain our minds.

Let go of past hurt, pain, disappointment and look towards love, hope, and forgiveness. 

Is it possible?  Are we willing to believe?

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I’ve kept myself pretty busy and time is passing faster than I prefer (as if I had control over it).

House
projects have been the primary focus lately as the desire to change my
environement is fueled by changes I desire in my life as well.  Nothing
can change if you’re sitting still.

While my children had
friends over to entertain them, I continued to work on their bathroom. 
Prep, 1st coat, 2nd coat…whoops, I got paint where I wasn’t supposed
to…sigh.  The paining…I mean painting project.  It shouldn’t bother me because I’m
working with such a small space.  I proudly painted my family room of
15’18′ walls with rich and warm colors.  I could complete a silly
bathroom in short order!  It’s not working as I’ve expected, but
progress is being made. The weekend before last my parents came and
helped me replace the subfloring due to water damage and then we layed
out sand-colored tile to match the ocean theme.  Their walls which were
first painted with a light blue is now replaced with a cool aquatic
color.  I prefer it. 

Carefully I tape and paint around the
new mirror, toilet, and shower enclosure.  At times I was successful
and other times I fought my desire to curse when the tape pulled paint
or I didn’ t tape firmly enough and paint seeped to other areas. 
Well…it’s a work in progress.

I feel like my dad.  He gets up
and right away starts on the house projects of the day.  Well, not
exactly like my dad.  He had a room set up and he works out for an hour
(religiously) before he begins his day.  That’s after the reading of
the Word and prior to his coffee and oatmeal. 

I sleepily
arose to get the kids ready.  Said my prayer of thanks that we all woke
up.  Make breakfast for the kids and ironed clothes if needed.  After
dropping kids off, including daughter ’cause I towed her car to the
mechanic’s Saturday, I am now focusing on the projects of the day
(house, work, etc…). 

I guess what made me feel like my dad
is that I realized that over the weekend the handle for the screen door
was loose and fell when a visitor tried to use it.  I wanted to repaint
the handle anyway and wash down the door, so while I was waiting for my
daughter, I was outside getting paint, pulling the parts apart and
painting those that needed.  I had my tools and necessary items ready
next to the front door for later installation.  The bucket with soap is
ready for me to wash down the door.  That’s only the beginning of house
projects before I task myself to complete the bathroom painting.  Plus
there’s laundry, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming and shampooing the
floor…all this before I get myself ready to see clients this
afternoon.

I did have some fun too.  Besides hanging with the
kids, I took a little time for myself and went ballroom dancing.  They
taught my favorite dance and it was great to be in a room that had good
leaders.  They made me look good!

Sigh…there’s
always something.  But I’m grateful that I’m able to do what little I
do and get help from my family for the rest.

I’m off!  Got tons of work to do and I have to keep motivated or else, I’ll leave it for too long!

This is not my week in terms of cars. I’m sitting on the driveway of my brothers house while starring at my running navigator with my dog inside. I came 2 pick up something which was going 2 take me 2 seconds. Kairi loves 2 jump out so I told her to stay. As I walked on the driveway she runs about the interior of the car.  As I quickly realize he forgot to leave the items for me, I walk back (literally two seconds), I try to open the door but I can’t. Its locked. She pressed the button.

So here I sit waiting for AAA (which I’m so grateful for)

Two days ago my daughters car broke down n the tranmission is basically shot. She was stuck and had to get to class. I picked her up and…wait…sound the trumpets! AAA is here! To be continued…

Ok…I’m home (whew!)

So after I dropped my daughter at school, I drove back to her car and tried for about 20 minutes to get the transmission to engage – get in gear.  I was about to give up and call AAA, but I decided to turn the car off, pray, and turn in on and see if it would shift in gear.  Hallelujah!  It did!  (I should have prayed in the first place). 

While going only  about 10 MPH, I was able to get the car home.  The challenge now was going back to get my car.  So, I put some sweats on, pulled out my son’s bike and went for it. 

Ok…can I admit something?  I’m in terrible shape!  Long gone are those days where I consistently was on the treadmill or in the gym or even going to yoga.  I was embarrassed at how tired I was riding 2 miles to get the car – and it took me forever!  So sad!

I loaded up the bike and thankfully drove home.  The next day (my daughter’s car broke down Monday), my behind was hurting me!  A child’s bike was not meant for an adult behind!  (That’s all I’m going to say about that)

So, here I am…happy to home after the Kairi lock fiasco.  She is curled up in her bed.  I have to admit that it’s kind of funny.   I could have allowed it to change my demeanor for the day, but I have to be grateful.  All things considered, it wasn’t so big of a deal.  It’s been a bit of an inconvenience.

I had a brief moment of wondering if this little situation was meant to steal my joy so to speak.  Last night I had a long conversation with my Aunt H and we were reading and discussing scripture.  We first discussed Psalm 104 then spent a great deal of time talking about Psalm 73.  The second Psalm we discussed was very powerful to me because it basically speaks about a Christian struggling with their walk while they see those with no relationship with the Lord seemingly prospering.  The blessing that God is always there even if we don’t see Him. 

I felt so encouraged and uplifted last night.  I didn’t sleep well for some reason, so I looked forward to a relaxing morning and then I was stuck for about 45 minutes.  It’s okay.  Things could definitely be worse.

I just can’t believe it. He’s so precious and so wonderful. What a wonderful sweet child. Yes, I’m talking about my youngest son. I have a few photos now and more will be updated later. I just wanted to take a moment to tell the world that my wonderful, beautiful-large eyed, long lashed, sweet heart, God loving, empathetic, sympathetic, loving, and friendly son was born 11 years ago today.

He is truly a blessing in my life.

October is
an important month that has two events (well, more like one) that appears to be going by unnoticed by
the media this year.  It may be likely
because it’s an election year; however these issues don’t just disappear and
are in dire need of attention. 

 

• National Domestic Violence
  Awareness Month
• Breast Cancer Awareness Month

 

Now, Breast
Cancer is definitely a topic that more of us are aware of.  I do see advertisements, public service
announcements, and events that encourages education, research, and support of
victims.  Sadly, I don’t still see enough
for victims – women and children – of Domestic Violence. 

 

Are we
missing the mark? 

 

I was
thinking about this last night…so, I’ve been puttering around with a 1 minute
script, but I need photographs.  Or I
thought I’d have video clips from people speaking some of the lines.  I don’t know…just trying to work through my ‘sad
day of solitude’.

 

I need
at least 15-30 seconds of video.  With at least 5
seconds either side of the script and expression to allow for editing.  If you’re interested…pick a line.  Use your laptop camera, video camera,
whatever.  Send it to me.  I’m going to put it on my website, blog, and
youtube.  I may even consider sending to
local and national news stations.  If I
do, then I’ll send you a release form.  
Hey…why not.

 

It’s a
project and it helps me work through my grief. 

 

Forward my
request.  I want all types – young,
older, any ethic background – my only requirement is that the lighting good,
volume is clear, and speech is articulate. 

 

Script (Partial):

 

Did you know every 15 seconds a woman is beaten by her partner in the United States?

It could be your mother, your sister, a friend.

Domestic Violence doesn’t discriminate. 

It doesn’t matter how old you are, how much money you make, your
ethnicity or gender. 

As a matter of fact, 5% of all annual domestic violence is committed against
men.

What does matter is your commitment to be violence free. 

Create a safe and secure home for yourself and your family because violence is not an option.”

 

Supported file types

• Audio files: .aif, .aifc, .aiff .asf, .au, .mp2, .mp3,
  .mpa, .snd, .wav, and .wma
• Picture files: .bmp, .dib, .emf, .gif, .jfif, .jpe, .jpeg,
  .jpg, .png, .tif, .tiff, and .wmf
• Video files: .asf, .avi, .m1v, .mp2, .mp2v, .mpe, .mpeg,
  .mpg, .mpv2, .wm, and .wmv

Let’s see what
happens – If I get no responses (or not enough), I’ll still do something basic
on my own, but I thought this would be an interesting way to do it.