July 15, 2008
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Bittersweet
Today is my 13th year wedding anniversary. I didn’t wake up in a puddle of tears as I had years ago. I didn’t wake up with anger, resentment, or bitterness.
I awoke today with gratitude.
I was grateful that because of our marriage I have two wonderful, loving, and adorable boys. I appreciated the journey I had to undergo to understand what love is really about. I learned to value communication and to trust my heart. I’ve learned that it is important to honor your instinct, because I believe it is God-given. I’m glad that because of the pain, I’ve gained power over many aspects of my life. I recognize that I was a good wife…no…a great wife. There were many things I did right, but I also know that there were so many things I could have done better.
I let my heart lead when my head should have taken over. I held onto my self-created values which could have been flexible. I took too long to create and enforce boundaries to protect myself.
I prolonged my heartache by holding on to what’s “right”. Right doesn’t really matter sometimes. I had to look at the reality of the situation and make decisions based on that. Wishing and hoping sometimes can be delayed disappointment, but it also challenged me to push and strive for something better.Healing is a choice. It’s not always easy, but in order to gain peace and happiness, I had to do it for myself. I thank God for His loving grace in my life.
Interestingly, I got a promise ring today. I don’t know if they have gone out of favor or if anyone has ever received or given one before. I think it’s a great symbol of love and commitment.
Comments (7)
Promise ring?
It’s beautiful!!
From who?
Dang it, girl, CALL ME!!
It shows you have moved on in your life and closed that chapter. It must have been a truly painful journey the first few years but it has built you into a strong woman that you are today. Thats a beautiful ring, ive never heard of a promise ring before ..is it between friends or lovers?
I think that you got it for yourself because I know a woman who got one for herself after getting over a bad relationship. She promised herself she wouldn’t settle for less than she wanted and deserved.
its is beautiful.
my mom was a great wife and my dad still did what he did. sometimes evenwhen ur at ur best and greatest it is never enoughf or that person who isn; worth time or space
heh, thanks! Anyway your son Donnovan made an awesome video, I voted for it (a few weeks back)…
wow… gorgeous bling!
congratulations on reaching a new level in your life. (hugs)
So if healing is a choice… how do you choose it? My problem is that I never know how to heal when someone hurts me deeply, no matter how hard I try. I have no problem forgiving, just a problem with stopping the sadness.