July 2, 2007
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Interesting Internet…
Well, there is something out there for every reason, every purpose…
I’ve learned about the website and posting. Nothing in the posting was untrue and the poster did take the liberty to label him “Officer loser” after sharing their thoughts based on being a long-time reader of this blog as well as being someone who wants to be supportive of me.
I have to admit that I smirked (ok smiled) when I learned of the website and it’s name – hey I’m human. I do think that based on my situation it is quite fitting for him to have his his actions exposed and to provide awareness for unsuspecting women who may fall under his charm (read: lies). I admit that I thought he deserved it.
From their site:
The site is a social networking site where women from around the world can share their dating experiences with each other. Share your story of inspiration, hope and determination with other women around the world. Learn about how you can date safer and smarter, build your self-esteem, find true love and empower yourself to become the powerful woman you really are! You are worth it. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be in a loving relationship! They are part of a worldwide movement to advocate for and defend the rights of women around the world. The policy states that what you’re posting to the site is the truth and does not contain any defamatory information.
From the posting – it was the truth. He was clearly upset. He kept texting me Saturday evening about it and when we were on the phone yesterday – he was yelling and at times screaming angry accusations at me. That’s in addition to the text messages. He was asking me what kind of Christian woman am I? He was asking me if I knew what scripture I violated. He asked if our pastor knew. It was crazy. He’s got nerve! I won’t even waste my time and energy talking about how ridiculous he is because he created this whole mess. Maybe a friend or colleague saw it. Maybe Maria saw it…who knows? I don’t care. It was the truth. So why was he so angry? He got exposed.
My “Concerned Blog Reader’s” Message:
Here is the site - (removed) - maybe someone he knows found him and told him - they got a reality check, I'm sure!
Hey, I'm sorry for any problems caused by the posting. I've read your blog for a long time. You've maintained yourintegrity and still have suffered from this guy. I know you've struggled but give yourself a break. He's probably pissed
that someone looks at him for the loser he is. You deserve happiness too. He doesn't deserve a beautiful and classy
woman like you. I have no idea how you got together, but it's time for you to be apart and move on. It's too hard
sometimes to read your pain and frustration because of him. To make matters worse your kids are suffering too.
This guy is a loser. Sorry for the hassle and problems. Sounds like it made things worse for you and that was
definitely not the intent. Hopefully he'll leave you alone and give you the peace that you always talk about.
I removed the posting but at least some people got some real talk about him. If he uses his police contacts to find
out stuff, isn't that abuse of his position or something? I didn't want to cause problems for you so I'm sorry.
I'll keep reading and supporting you quietly. Tell him to chill. Maybe he'll change but guys like him don't.
Take care and be strong. Unload that loser.
What's going to happen now? Who knows...to be continued (sadly)...
EDIT: Well, since I didn't admonish the poster nor demonstrate my anger at what my estranged calls "slanderous and inaccurate"
that it "shows u (I) approve and thought it was amusing". He states "I'm glad I printed it for further reference.".
Does he think what he's done is appropriate? sigh...it's to exhausting to deal with. I'm going to focus on something positive rather
than this mess
Comments (5)
Pretty harsh words from your poster. However, I would say that I share the same sentiment.
I understand where your coming from sometimes we all have to vent and say what is on our mind and guys like that need not apply here. If that leaves you confused that is my way of stating no man need come around whom would be more trouble then he is worth. I will keep you in my prayers. angelgal22
Ok, I realize I’m not the crispiest Trisket in the box, but why does this man think he is entitled to your protection? He lies to you, cheats on you, hurts you and the children, and yet he EXPECTS your protection???? They have medication for that. I’m actually not kidding, either. It sounds like your estranged is Borderline Personality Disorder. However, I am not a professional and that is my own opinion. Why should you get mad over someone’s opinion of him? If he doesn’t like what is being said about him, he should change his behavior. He won’t; he never will. That is because nothing is ever his fault. He probably would have never done any of these things if YOU hadn’t made him. That is a hallmark of BPD, by the way. Until this man-child grows up, accepts responsibility for his actions, makes significant changes to behavior, and then backs up his promises with positive action, nothing will ever change. He is always going to lash out and blame other people for his mistakes and poor choices, and that person will most likely be you because you are the most convenient. The stronger and more independent you become, the more his is likely to lash out. I came from an abusive marriage. My ex-husband was so controlling of me I wasn’t allowed to have a house key. He was afraid if I had a key I may leave during the day while he was gone. He refused to take me to the doctor when I had a fever of 105 and he wouldn’t even stay at home to care for our 10 month old son while I was sick. Everything was always my fault. But when I had enough, it was enough. He tried some of these same things on me. He called me some unflattering names in front of our son because I began dating a Biracial man. But I had had enough. When he finally realized over was over, and he couldn’t bully/guilt/beg me back into the marriage, it stopped. When you have finally had “enough”, you will know. It’s not the same for everyone, and only you can make that decision. It’s so much easier for people outside of it to say “Why are you still there? I would have left…blah blah blah.” It will come though, and when you finally take that step you will feel a freedom that is almost intoxicating. I was literally giddy with it.
i think the term “unload” has interesting and appropriate usage here.
think about it.. carrying him around is like a heavy load. a burden.
and you know what my friend? gal 6:2 is a wonderful verse that i love.
“bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ” – so if talking about your heavy load and seeking the advice you need to either continue to carry it or UNLOAD it.. well,
that’s something i think we are told to do. that’s how i’m taking it atleast. he’s just angry for being exposed.
he brought this on himself. i’m sorry, but he did.
we don’t have to bear our burdens alone. and we shouldn’t.
hope you are doing well.
joanne : )
I tried checking on a previous entry in your blog about a comment I had made to you. I wanted to see your reponse, or any response for that matter, but now I cannot find it. I wasn’t sure if you deleted it because you found what I said offensive (and if so, I sincerely apologize). I was just trying to comment on your post like you asked me to.
Based on your last few entries, I am a little confused. Did someone you know, or did you, go on an online site and post things about your ex-husband? If so, no matter how much of a horrible person he was, I think that is wrong. The internet is world-wide. When you post something online, it will never go away. So if by some grace of God, a person changed, it wouldn’t matter. That reputation would always follow him. Is that fair for the person who truly changed? That person might never change, but I feel it is better to play it safe. Also, is it fair for your children? Yours and his reputation, if posted online, will forever follow your children. Should they suffer for that?
I am also a big fan of what happens in the family, stays in the family, unless someone is in your close circle that you can trust. I have been through something EXTREMELY similar, is not worse, than what you have gone through, except I’d be coming from the child’s point of view.