July 3, 2007

• Extremes

  One extreme to the other…

  
  

  I’ve spoken about what has transpired over the last few days, fought back to put the blame of actions and choices where it belongs, and worked at not letting this situation stress me out or overwhelm me.  That is toxic and counterproductive.

  
  

  Now…I wouldn’t believe it had I not been living it (well, that’s not true – I’m generally trusting)…

  
  

  The day started with the continued argument about the posting where, again, I pointed out that it is through his actions being exposed that he has an issue and he should be looking at himself, no one else, to blame for his choices.  He just got “outed”.  HE is the reason our family is in this mess.

  
  

  So…the argument finally dies down because the poster removed their opinions to save me from continued arguments – which I greatly appreciate.  I do, however, respect that everyone has their own opinion and I still believe, after reading the post that it was accurate.  There was only one opinion stated  briefly stated at the end.  The rest is fact – whether he likes it or not.

  
  

  What I find interesting is that…why would someone be on that particular site looking him up?  That further indicates to me that he’s continuing to involve himself or walk down a path that would warrant this type of “investigation” into the type of man he is.  He, of course, has no response to that or he tries to change the subject. 

  
  

  Nevertheless, I hope that this is over.  In fact, this is over.  I’m not going to argue with him about it.  I can choose my actions.

  
  

  So…why, then…would he show up last night and invite my daughter and I to ice cream?  I was talking with a friend and he drove up in front of my home.  The boys jumped out excitedly to see and hug me and said, “Mommy, we’re taking you to ice cream!”.  Any hesitancy I had, I needed to hide as these two pair of beautiful and hopeful brown eyes stared at me.  I looked over him with a knowing look.  Very clever and manipulative, but guised as a nice gesture.  As has been in the past, these actions would happen and if I refused, I was faced with upset children and an angry spouse.  I know when manipulation and entrapment actions and words are being used. 

  
  

  So…excitedly, all the children climbed in the car and slowly I joined them.  I smiled my way through making snide comments periodically (I know…passive aggressive).  When my daughter and I were dropped off at home, I asked her what she thought of the evening events.  She shrugged her shoulders and said it was strange, but it didn’t bother her.  Her focus is on the upcoming Florida trip and trying to find summer employment.

  
  

  Another day…another day…

  
  

  EDIT:  I forgot to add that he is again is talking about me going to Florida, moving back in and resuming our marriage… can we say one extreme to the other?

  • 2:43 pm
  • 5 Comments