The
topic of relationship and marriage is hitting home in the most
unexpected ways.  I am trying to maintain positive attitude and pray
for success in what is clearly and statistically discouraging
territory…all this while trying to provide the support and
encouragement needed and face my own challenges and struggles.  It is
not an easy feat.

So
I’m praying, researching, reading, and reconciling what may happen. We
don’t know what tomorrow may bring.  Nevertheless, I’ve found some
interesting information, and I’ve got a lot of reading to do.

Look Before You Leap
Christian Advice for the Real World
Divorced & Dating

I’ve had some indepth, tense, and powerful discussions on this topic. 



As a
mother, I do believe in my capabilities to raise all of my children as
respectful, responsible, and reasonable people.  I take offense to
being told that because of my gender I cannot
teach my boys how to be men.  I can instruct them not only with my
nuturing and love, but by providing mature men of honor and integrity
to model for them what and who they can become. 



I don’t
see how some men believe that based on gender only that they qualify to
be better parents for their boys than mothers.  The same is true for
moms and girls.  I know some dads that are better caregivers and
nurturers.  I’ve also seen mothers who are so dedicated to provide
their children with well-rounded experience and values and have
provided much more of a positive impact than the fathers. 



So is a
man who lies, cheats, is disrespectful, irresponsible, lacks
accountability and integrity model material for boys?  Do they really
teach and represent what is means to be a “man”?  Is
that what kind of men we want to create?  Is that what we want to teach
our boys?  Good Lord, I hope not.  Are they really better than a mother
who provides more stability, instruction, discipline, and love?  I
don’t think so.  Are all situations the same – of course not. 



What
should be important is the recognition of value that moms, dads, aunts,
uncles, friends, teachers etc can bring to a child’s life.  The goals
of raising a child is not left to a single person in their life.  This
is the mistake that I believe many focus on a competitive ground to
state “who’s better moms v dads”.  Gender doesn’t automatically make a
better parent.



What if
we focus on what’s best for the kids?  From my personal opinion any
parent, married or single, rich or poor, young or old, is to raise
their children in knowledge and reverence of the Lord. God says that He
will be a father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5).  Does He lie???




Take your sons to church, teach them about the Lord, raise them in the
way that they should go (Proverbs 22:6), love them, protect them, DISCIPLINE them, and
you got you as good a man as any.

Life – moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day…

It goes so fast. I posted a couple of pics that have given me ideas on what I want to do at home. I love the blue wall in the one photo and am thinking about painting my back wall the same color – the lighting is great as well. In the other photo I like the tile around the mirror in the other photo and I LOVE the windows/shutters. It reminds me of Italy (and where I stayed had similar, if not more beautiful, windows and shutters.

Anyway, I thought I’d show what I’ve been up to with the house and of course showing off my young man – my new teenager – my little man. Wow…time goes by so fast…

Right before my eyes he’s transformed. What a wonderful process to see, although at times, not easy. My house work is in an attempt to transform my home and make it different than it was. I want to walk in and see “my home”. Does that make sense?

Do we really live in the moment or does our history and past play into our daily lives?

If our perception is truth, then does the pain, heartache, joy, and hope distort what our future is…even if we are willing to dream, do you dare to?

If we have the willingness to learn from our mistakes, acknowledge our choices, be honest with ourselves, be authentic and real with others, I believe we can really realize true love and intimacy.

We have to learn to be aware of the ties of our past that we intentionally hold onto can keep us from growing, learning, and being free.  We cannot be free until we discipline and retrain our minds.

Let go of past hurt, pain, disappointment and look towards love, hope, and forgiveness. 

Is it possible?  Are we willing to believe?

Visit myflashfetish.com to create your own playlist

I’ve kept myself pretty busy and time is passing faster than I prefer (as if I had control over it).

House
projects have been the primary focus lately as the desire to change my
environement is fueled by changes I desire in my life as well.  Nothing
can change if you’re sitting still.

While my children had
friends over to entertain them, I continued to work on their bathroom. 
Prep, 1st coat, 2nd coat…whoops, I got paint where I wasn’t supposed
to…sigh.  The paining…I mean painting project.  It shouldn’t bother me because I’m
working with such a small space.  I proudly painted my family room of
15’18′ walls with rich and warm colors.  I could complete a silly
bathroom in short order!  It’s not working as I’ve expected, but
progress is being made. The weekend before last my parents came and
helped me replace the subfloring due to water damage and then we layed
out sand-colored tile to match the ocean theme.  Their walls which were
first painted with a light blue is now replaced with a cool aquatic
color.  I prefer it. 

Carefully I tape and paint around the
new mirror, toilet, and shower enclosure.  At times I was successful
and other times I fought my desire to curse when the tape pulled paint
or I didn’ t tape firmly enough and paint seeped to other areas. 
Well…it’s a work in progress.

I feel like my dad.  He gets up
and right away starts on the house projects of the day.  Well, not
exactly like my dad.  He had a room set up and he works out for an hour
(religiously) before he begins his day.  That’s after the reading of
the Word and prior to his coffee and oatmeal. 

I sleepily
arose to get the kids ready.  Said my prayer of thanks that we all woke
up.  Make breakfast for the kids and ironed clothes if needed.  After
dropping kids off, including daughter ’cause I towed her car to the
mechanic’s Saturday, I am now focusing on the projects of the day
(house, work, etc…). 

I guess what made me feel like my dad
is that I realized that over the weekend the handle for the screen door
was loose and fell when a visitor tried to use it.  I wanted to repaint
the handle anyway and wash down the door, so while I was waiting for my
daughter, I was outside getting paint, pulling the parts apart and
painting those that needed.  I had my tools and necessary items ready
next to the front door for later installation.  The bucket with soap is
ready for me to wash down the door.  That’s only the beginning of house
projects before I task myself to complete the bathroom painting.  Plus
there’s laundry, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming and shampooing the
floor…all this before I get myself ready to see clients this
afternoon.

I did have some fun too.  Besides hanging with the
kids, I took a little time for myself and went ballroom dancing.  They
taught my favorite dance and it was great to be in a room that had good
leaders.  They made me look good!

Sigh…there’s
always something.  But I’m grateful that I’m able to do what little I
do and get help from my family for the rest.

I’m off!  Got tons of work to do and I have to keep motivated or else, I’ll leave it for too long!

This is not my week in terms of cars. I’m sitting on the driveway of my brothers house while starring at my running navigator with my dog inside. I came 2 pick up something which was going 2 take me 2 seconds. Kairi loves 2 jump out so I told her to stay. As I walked on the driveway she runs about the interior of the car.  As I quickly realize he forgot to leave the items for me, I walk back (literally two seconds), I try to open the door but I can’t. Its locked. She pressed the button.

So here I sit waiting for AAA (which I’m so grateful for)

Two days ago my daughters car broke down n the tranmission is basically shot. She was stuck and had to get to class. I picked her up and…wait…sound the trumpets! AAA is here! To be continued…

Ok…I’m home (whew!)

So after I dropped my daughter at school, I drove back to her car and tried for about 20 minutes to get the transmission to engage – get in gear.  I was about to give up and call AAA, but I decided to turn the car off, pray, and turn in on and see if it would shift in gear.  Hallelujah!  It did!  (I should have prayed in the first place). 

While going only  about 10 MPH, I was able to get the car home.  The challenge now was going back to get my car.  So, I put some sweats on, pulled out my son’s bike and went for it. 

Ok…can I admit something?  I’m in terrible shape!  Long gone are those days where I consistently was on the treadmill or in the gym or even going to yoga.  I was embarrassed at how tired I was riding 2 miles to get the car – and it took me forever!  So sad!

I loaded up the bike and thankfully drove home.  The next day (my daughter’s car broke down Monday), my behind was hurting me!  A child’s bike was not meant for an adult behind!  (That’s all I’m going to say about that)

So, here I am…happy to home after the Kairi lock fiasco.  She is curled up in her bed.  I have to admit that it’s kind of funny.   I could have allowed it to change my demeanor for the day, but I have to be grateful.  All things considered, it wasn’t so big of a deal.  It’s been a bit of an inconvenience.

I had a brief moment of wondering if this little situation was meant to steal my joy so to speak.  Last night I had a long conversation with my Aunt H and we were reading and discussing scripture.  We first discussed Psalm 104 then spent a great deal of time talking about Psalm 73.  The second Psalm we discussed was very powerful to me because it basically speaks about a Christian struggling with their walk while they see those with no relationship with the Lord seemingly prospering.  The blessing that God is always there even if we don’t see Him. 

I felt so encouraged and uplifted last night.  I didn’t sleep well for some reason, so I looked forward to a relaxing morning and then I was stuck for about 45 minutes.  It’s okay.  Things could definitely be worse.

I just can’t believe it. He’s so precious and so wonderful. What a wonderful sweet child. Yes, I’m talking about my youngest son. I have a few photos now and more will be updated later. I just wanted to take a moment to tell the world that my wonderful, beautiful-large eyed, long lashed, sweet heart, God loving, empathetic, sympathetic, loving, and friendly son was born 11 years ago today.

He is truly a blessing in my life.