Due to numerous reasons I find myself in Vegas. I’ve just come in from dancing for hours. It shows me the different experiences I can have and how to embrace them.

Tonight I watched so many “young people” falling over themselves drunk and clumsily groping at each other. I also saw couples taking an opportunity to create some fun, excitement, and intimacy which is a great relationship enhancement.

As I waded in the pool Earlier i enjoyed having in depth conversations and laughing. I loved not knowing what time it was because I chose not to wear my watch. Even in my brief moments of frustration I can find places to grow, push myself, and explore the depths of my personality and that of others – and that’s while taking time off!

How much I’ve learned and I’m glad for the changes I’ve made. They were not for others but really for myself. I know myself now better (the good, bad, and ugly) and I can accept myself. Accepting others for who they really are – by their actions – has really released me from my naivety and pain. Making a choice based on that acceptance can be difficult but freeing.

Here is a silly thing I accept – I’m terrible @ golf. I’ve only done it a few times but I’m grateful for patient, longsuffering teachers..I love that I have a cute golf bag and no clubs yet .I accept that I love dancing even though I realize that I’m more prone to lose my rhythm (gasp!). I accept that the ultimate love of my life is the only thing that I’ll take. Doesn’t mean that things will be perfect or that there won’t be difficulty, but I’m willing to work harder than I’ve ever had and there will be no comprise regarding the qualities of my partner. Nope. Been there done that.

I accept that I can be stubborn and realize that its a defense mechanism because I’d rather do something on my own rather than depend on someone who is fallible (hey – aren’t we all?!?) actually, its someone who has demonstrated that they are undependable. But when my love language is shown, I can release that fear and disappointment.I’ve also worked on speaking the other persons love language too. It goes both ways and it works with those that are emotionally safe

Lol – ok. I know I’m rambling. I feel like expressing myself. You are my captive audience at the moment (heh heh). Everyone else is sleeping like I should be doing. But…I’m about to take a Jacuzzi tub THEN I’ll quietly fall into bed.

I’ll ramble more later!

Lately I’ve discovered that I’m getting more calls for mandated anger management and parenting clients.  I hear the words divorce, restraining order, custody, mediation, attorneys more than I thought I ever would.

I’ve received a few calls from attorneys who ask about my services to deal with highly-conflicted couples and the attorney is the child’s advocate. 

Is this trend heightening or had I not noticed it so much before?

I’m not sure, but on one hand, one could consider it job security.  On the other, it magnifies a sad state of affairs for our families.

I get many inquiries through my blog about my services and on Thursdays evenings I offer 2 teleclasses.  In a bold move, I’m going to announce these to my readers in case you or someone you know could benefit from these support services.  I feel like giving today.  There are so many hurting out there. 

Here’s the information below about my services anyway.  I’m offering the class for free today, but if you are so inclined to offer anything (I’m trying to support my family too), you can send it to my PayPal at coaching@conflictcoachingco.com.  I do have paying clients that will be
online, but maybe this can open the door for someone.  It’s different,
but perhaps they can get support in a way that they haven’t had before
and hear from others who experience similar challenges and learn
something too!

If you want to call in today:

If you have any questions that you want to ask prior to session – email coaching@conflictcoachingco.com

Teleclasses
- Call from the convenience of your home, office, or cell!

Teleclass: Thursdays @ 5:30pm— 6:30pm (PST)18 weeks – $49/month

• Defines anger styles and understanding components of anger episodes;
  
• Assists in identifying triggers;
  
• Focuses on actively changing angry reactions into appropriate
  responses;
  
• Increases self-monitoring techniques;
  
• Develops motivation for change; and
  
• Introduces a foundation of appropriate and assertive communication
  and behavior.
  

Teleclass: Thursdays @ 7:00pm— 18 weeks (1 hour) $49/month

• To realize the emotional impact of divorce on children
  
• Recognize emotional and behavioral responses of children and within yourself
  
• Learn and identify different parenting styles
  
• Understand the importance of creating and enforcing appropriate boundaries with others
  
• To understand and manage the challenges of blended families
  
• How to handle anger, stress, and work towards healthy conflict resolution
  
• Develop assertive communication skills
  
• Financial responsibility of parents
  
• Negotiating, creating, and abiding by effective co-parenting plans
  

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Just posting some pics – more to come…

• Santa Cruz w/ Kairi (was with Cody this time last year)
• My boys with my friends kids
• Boy weekend at my house!
• With little sis, Tiff
• Jessica & Tiff
• My long-time friend Bonnie (haven’t seen her in 6 years!)

I just finished filming a video for a global publishing organization.  They were long days, but it was exciting, energizing, exhausting, and so much fun!  I might have a side career as an online video spokesperson!  Thank you for all your prayers because God made it happen.  It was wonderful!

I’m wiped out – will update more soon.

A fellow blogger, Rica, asked a great question about how to heal.  My answer was the following, “

To me, making the choice to heal is consciously letting go of the hurt
and freeing myself from the situations, and if necessary, the person. 
You know we can’t change the past and often times there were things I
just simply didn’t understand, but I had to come to a point of
acceptance and when those flashbacks and memories come, I just say to
myself, “I want to heal, not hurt.  Let go and move forward.”.  It’s
not easy, but it does become easier over time. 

There is more to it – I pray, read, grieve, and sometimes push myself forward even when I don’t have the desire, but I’m making a choice to do it.  To be honest, some days I want to wallow in my sorrow.  And you know what?  I give myself that time to do it.  After I’ve processed those feelings, I look at the situation for what it is and make the effort, despite pain, heartache, and disappointment, to move forward. 

I’ll work on the house, I’ll do something I love to do, I’ll make a change, so I can visually see it and know that every step, no matter how small, is progress. 

We each have that opportunity.  What do you do to heal?

Today is my 13th year wedding anniversary. I didn’t wake up in a puddle of tears as I had years ago. I didn’t wake up with anger, resentment, or bitterness.

I awoke today with gratitude.

I was grateful that because of our marriage I have two wonderful, loving, and adorable boys. I appreciated the journey I had to undergo to understand what love is really about. I learned to value communication and to trust my heart. I’ve learned that it is important to honor your instinct, because I believe it is God-given. I’m glad that because of the pain, I’ve gained power over many aspects of my life. I recognize that I was a good wife…no…a great wife. There were many things I did right, but I also know that there were so many things I could have done better.

I let my heart lead when my head should have taken over. I held onto my self-created values which could have been flexible. I took too long to create and enforce boundaries to protect myself.

I prolonged my heartache by holding on to what’s “right”. Right doesn’t really matter sometimes. I had to look at the reality of the situation and make decisions based on that. Wishing and hoping sometimes can be delayed disappointment, but it also challenged me to push and strive for something better.

Healing is a choice. It’s not always easy, but in order to gain peace and happiness, I had to do it for myself. I thank God for His loving grace in my life.

Interestingly, I got a promise ring today. I don’t know if they have gone out of favor or if anyone has ever received or given one before. I think it’s a great symbol of love and commitment.

I’m not sure what has been my issue over the past week, but I’ve felt restless…you know – the inability to just be still.  My thoughts have been quite scattered and I’ve begun to recreate a list of tasks to tackle and some items have been there for quite some time. 

Some items are new.  Based on my life and circumstances, I’ve noticed that I’ve released a tight grip on some principles I’ve felt very strongly about and realized that I need to live.  I haven’t really been doing so, and that is changing. 

When I find myself frustrated I need to see an immediate change.  It needs to be something that I can appreciate in terms of seeing the transition.  So my house has been turned almost upside down.  It’s best to do it now while I can. 

So…although I realize that I didn’t take before pics, I will surely show what I have completed and show it. 

I felt really overwhelmed the other day because everything was in process and in great disarray.  I had difficulty handling it, but the calm came in as things started to take shape. 

The exterior of the house is in great need of an overhaul.  I’m terrible at landscaping and honestly wants the easiest way to handle thing with the least amount of work.  Gardening has never been my thing.  I’m going to have help from my father and brother to build a small shade trellis.  I’m excited because I have no shade in my yard, so anything would be a great improvement.

I’ve crossed over. No longer teetering near the 30′s…yesterday I made a definitive step. I turned 41…at 40, I could still touch my 30′s. That is no longer the case . I remember thinking that 40 was so old! But, it’s all a state of mind.
I don’t feel 40 (whatever that means), I’m told I don’t look 40, (what are you supposed to look like?!?), so I’ll just go with it. Today is another day!

My kids were wonderful as usual and we had a fun dinner. I not only had a wonderful dessert at the restaurant, but my daughter bought me a special slice of cake with a candle and her sweet birthday song ! I plan to continue my celebration later in the month and I’m really looking forward to it.

A few days ago I was asked to audition for an industrial video for a publishing house. Things are progressing well. I received an initial contact and the agency reviewed my video I have on my professional site and was impressed with it as well. I had a follow up call today and there may be a face-to-face next week. Keep me in your prayers. It could be fun and I can make some money too (that never hurts!)

Hope you enjoy the photos! It was a fun day and I’m one year and one day older today.

“Make A Kid A Winner”


Watch and Rate the top student-produced video in eSN’s Empowered Education Awards contest. Your five-star rating helps determine the finalists. Winners get expenses-paid trips to Washing, D.C. School gets prizes.


In this video, Donovan demonstrates how technology has moved into every aspect of his life, and how it always proves useful.”


He is currently a semi-finalist, but we can still use your votes! Please visit www.eschoolnews.tv – search “Donovan”; category “Empowered Education Awards” and cast your vote! This is the first video he’s done independently (with some help from mom) and he’s very proud of it.


When we learned about him being a semi-finalist, he said, “Mommy, I feel like a winner already.” Let’s help see if we can make it a reality!


More information about the contest is here à http://www.eschoolnews.com/news/top-news/news-by-subject/community/index.cfm?i=51822&page=2


Thanks for your support!


Warmly,