Thank you for your prayers about the scholarship! Although I didn’t get a full one, I did get a partial which will enable me to attend mediation certification training next month!
The cost overall will end up being what the cost would be for the workshop because I have to make travel arrangements and have an extended hotel stay, but I’m really excited about it. I’m very grateful.
…can keep us isolated and trapped within our own mind and heart. It’s like a prison and we hold the key. There are so many emotions that may fight within, but we can’t let the enemy conquer us.
Spiritual warfare is powerful. It always leads me to imagine this battle between God and the enemy. If I felt feelings of guilt/anger/shame/disappointment/etc, I visualized the enemy trying to take me away BUT God loves me, forgives me, heals me and is pulling me back…It’s a battle for sure – for my soul.
Guilt is a powerful and tricky emotion. It’s a feeling of responsibility or remorse for a situation in the past whether real or imagined. If we choose not to forgive ourselves we remain captive, but Jesus set us free!
True guilt – We fully acknowledge and recognize that we have intentionally done something wrong or offensive and we feel guilty when we feel responsible for an action that we regret
False guilt – When we blame ourselves for things that we should not blame ourselves for… “If I would have behaved differently, XXX would not have hurt/abused/cheated/etc (on) me…”
The devil will try to bring up failures in your past and haunt you with it, but in 1 John 1:9…”If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
God promises to forgive and cleanse us from the matter, then why shouldn’t we forgive ourselves?
***Sometimes we might continue to have guilt over a sin because we keep doing it and repeating the sin, but we need to, with God’s help, forsake the sin. Stop your actions, turn around, and go in the opposite direction!!!!***
Shame points out to us what we believe is wrong with ourselves. We focus our feelings inward and it may cause us to poorly about ourselves. However, shame can be problematic and is often less constructive than guilt. Some may try to overcome their shame by blaming others, being overly nice in attempt to prove their worth, or by withdrawing. The problem is that each one of those paths limits, if not prohibits, any true healing or growth because the core issues are not being dealt with even if we find temporary or brief relief. In the long run if we don’t deal with our issues, with God’s help, then we are hindering our growth and healing.
When we venture into painful situations from the past, it may be tempting to retreat or withdraw, but God may be using the situation to truly heal and not hide. Our heavenly Father is understanding, supportive, compassionate, and loving. He doesn’t look at us with disgust or disdain, but with love and grace. With embarking on a journey with God of discovery and healing God can help us develop true emotional intimacy so that we can embrace healing and move forward free.
Who hasn’t seen the video of the Florida teens “jumping” a 16-year old girl? Another blogger, nicolasspencer, posted about the blame put on sites such as MySpace and YouTube. Who is responsible for these teens? Some want to blame parents, but really are they to blame? You can do your best to model, instill, and teach values, discipline, self-respect, respect for others, responsibility, social skills, and violence prevention, but if you do those things there are no guarantees. So where does the responsibility lie?
Based on his post, this way my .02.
Those girls and guys, and the millions of bullies and brats out there should be held accountable for their actions and have consequences for their violent behavior. Enough excuses! There is such a sense of entitlement that people (adults, teens, and kids) have that they act without believing that they will face true consequences. Sadly, it does happen, but when the landscape and belief systems of people change…when people mature…when they look at life with value and purpose and upon others with empathy then we’re destined to continue to see situations like this and slowly spiral down a slow miserable path. We have to stop looking away. If you blame others for your choices then you lack maturity. We all have choices and have to have the courage to own them – even when they are destructive and hurtful. It’s not easy, but that’s life.
My career is based on dealing with people who face those consequences and need to learn healthier ways of handling anger and conflict. I should have job security for life.
Good post!
What do you think?
A show, more like a guilty pleasure, I watch is Dirt on FX. I cover my eyes and peek through fingers sometimes at the graphic scenes displayed and even lower the volume sometimes with the elicit sounds and language, however there was dialog in the last episode that struck me in an interesting way…
The situation revolved around an older woman who was addicted to plastic surgery. Per the characters, it was like her opiate. In her last, yes final, surgery she died. As the daughter and main character, Lucy, was processing her grief, she is trying to come to terms with the reality of it all…
“Death…I get it. It’s guaranteed. I understand that. But why does it seem that everyone is so oblivious to the fact that they’re swimming in deep water until they drown?”
“‘Cause we’re stupid. We all do stupid things, Lucy. I have. You have. We just don’t think they’re going to kill us.”
It creates thoughts within me about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and how I live my life. I experience frustrations, joys, and sorrows just like everyone. Is my life representative of what I truly desire? Tomorrow is not promised, so what am I doing today?
Are my actions, choices, decisions, beliefs, self-talk, value system, principles, social surroundings, personal environment, career, stressors, relationships, or emotions my deep water?
I wonder…
Well, nevertheless I did some things to move forward in my life. In tasks I suppose. Emotions I hope to follow.
Just curious…Is it considered “fake” to present to the world an attitude or demeanor of peace when feeling internal conflict?
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My scholarship application is still pending after I asked them to reconsider their denial. I’m told it will still be over a week, but I pray that it will be much sooner so I can coordinate child care and travel arrangements. The program was sold out and then this afternoon they had a late cancellation. I pray that spot was meant for me.
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I was reading a variety of blogs about tax day and the tax rebate. I’m glad that I filed prior to today and pleased that I did it with a program that costs me 1/2 of what it would with the CPA. I went over it several times and compared previous returns in terms of data to include. I feel confident that I did okay. Nice for it to be over. It’ll be even nicer to get a deposit!
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I’ve toyed with a new hobby – golf. I could go on a rampant about why I had very little interest, but I’ve been recently introduced to it. I’m not good – I’ve only been once. But…here is where silliness comes into play…Last week, I saw this cute blue and pink Wilsons breast cancer awareness golf bag…and I bought it!!! Uh…what was I thinking? It’s normally not my personality to buy something I completely don’t need because I thought it was “cute”. Hello?!? I need to take it back.
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I miss yoga. I had a monthly unlimited pass (gifted to me) and I went almost everyday until I had two weeks when I had pneumonia. There are no “make ups”. If you don’t go, you lose the time. It’s expensive and I can’t go as often as I’d like or honestly, hardly at all. It’s been about 10 days since I’ve been. It’s strange and I miss it. Even though I think I’m hittin’ the pipe every time I step foot into that room that is approximately 100 degrees, I feel so encouraged and proud that I made it through another 90-minute session. During my last week, I did 8 classes in 5 days (3 days of two classes back to back). What a feeling.
Thanks for your comforting and supportive responses. No I wasn’t too hard on her, but I believe appropriately enough. This morning I went to look at the damage to the car and these people appear to be trying to take advantage of a situation. The damage the woman spoke of was not from my daughter’s car at all. It was evident through some investigation on my part that there was no way the existing marks, scrapes, and indents were from her vehicle or this situation. They tried as much as possible to try to make me believe it, but thankfully I’ve had training in accident investigation and was able to use that language to let them know that I was not going to be fooled. I sensed a feeling of discouragement on their part and there was a passive aggressive comment towards the end of our interaction stating, “yeah…if it was my kid, I’d do whatever I could to get them out of it.”. I promptly responded saying that my goal was to assess the damage from this incident and to ensure that it is appropriate, not to shield my daughter from any responsibility.
I’m comforted that the evidence doesn’t support the story, but annoyed, if not irritated that they tried to get over on a 17 year old, then her mother. I don’t think so – they got the wrong person!
With this all I need to show grace to my daughter. I think she understands the gravity of the situation and thankfully it resulted in no major damage nor injuries. That is the blessing in this all. I need to even show grace to these people. I could have been aggressive once I realized the direction of their actions, but instead I remained assertive and clear on the goal. I believe they got the idea.
Yesterday my daughter got into her first fender bender – and it was her fault. She failed one of her driving tests based on this action!
She was pulling in a line to park and took her foot off the break then she moved her shift from drive to park, but stopped on REVERSE. She said she “didn’t notice”. (yeah, that didn’t help my response). What happened? Yep, she rolled backwards and hit the car behind her.
Grrrrr…I haven’t seen the damage to the other car, but my daughter has had her license less than 2 months! My insurance had already gone up $330/year and now with an accident? My daughter told me that the woman’s car had a couple of nicks, and when I talked to the woman she said there were a couple of nicks and the bottom of the bumper broke off. Well…we’ll see.
So…I finally had the chance to review my email today and my friend forwarded me this cute video.
2nite I’m taking a moment 2 write from the beautiful lawn on homerun hill at rivercat stadium.it is the 1st game of the season 4 our championship AAA Oakland A’s team.the weather is perfect n the 1st day its been in the 90s. My little guy says. This is fun. Its like TV
I said,”uh…it better b better than TV!”
He responds “well like watching it on a big screen”
“Yeah..” my daugther says,”the screen of life!”
I’ve written in to receive a scholarship for a 40-hour Family and Divorce Mediation Training. In my search for private mediation I’ve learned that the need for mediators are high. Christian mediators? I haven’t found one yet.
So, I started to do some research and found through Association for Conflict Resolution approved programs for becoming a certified mediator. When I researched the fees that mediators costs, it averages around $300/hour. With my conflict coaching practice, I believe that offering mediation would be a natural enhancement to the work I’m doing.
I have a sincere and deep passion for helping people resolve conflict within themselves and with other people. I pray for people to be free to live, laugh, and love. Life is precious.
I’ve sent in my one-page application request and praying for a response soon. A training is offered twice a year and mostly I’ve found it’s April and October. I found one in May.
I place my phone call tomorrow to follow up on my request. Please pray for a favorable response and a gift of the scholarship.
Blessings.
It’s so intersting that over the past couple of weeks the discussion of the Proverbs 31 Woman has come up, so after some further research, I found interesting and powerful insight and information about her.
10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
The Proverbs 31 woman has been misunderstood and misrepresented throughout the ages, leaving most women afraid to even attempt to become like her.We think about the age of the 1980’s when women were trying to be everything – corporate executive, Super mom, great lover, volunteer of the year.She was expected to do it all, and this was even impressed upon women through television commercials.Remember that old favourite for perfume?“She brings home the bacon, fries it up in a pan and she’ll never let you forget you’re a man.Cuz she’s a woman!”In the process she often got burnt out, sick, depressed.
Many people have said to me, “I could be a Proverbs 31 woman if only I had a few servants.”This is where the great misunderstanding lies.I laugh when I see some of the ideas that come from Martha Stewart Living – great ideas, but completely impractical for most women.After all, Martha has 42 sets of china; she can create the perfect table for any occasion.But how many of us look in our cabinets and find it difficult to find 8 dishes that match?
As I searched the web for information on the Proverbs 31 woman, the websites were dedicated to making women domestic goddesses, beauty queens, perfect wives submissive to their husband’s every whim.Yet, the scripture about this woman says nothing of the kind.Her husband trusts her to run the household affairs while he serves as a senator. Her physical attributes are not mentioned, because that sort of beauty only runs skin deep, but her beauty is deep within her heart and spirit.
Are you trustworthy?Do you keep your promises?Are you a woman who is reliable?Do your friends have confidence in your integrity, ability and good character? As Christian women we walk in the light of our Lord Jesus and we should be like the Proverbs 31 woman who brings good, not harm, to those around her.
A woman with godly shrewdness is one who is astute and has a clever awareness and resourcefulness, which is used to accomplish God’s purpose. This wisdom is from God.The Proverbs 31 woman is a shrewd businesswoman, bringing in the things that sustain her family with a little extra. A Proverbs 31 woman exhibits godly shrewdness in every aspect of her life – how she deals with family, her business affairs and her spirituality.She is wise, accomplishing great things in a manner that is beyond reproach.
Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”God gives us many gifts such as strength and dignity, which we use to accomplish the tasks set before us.A Proverbs 31 woman is properly qualified.This quality is not something that we can get for ourselves, it comes from God.According to Proverbs 1, God gives prudence to the simple.Prudence is good judgment in practical matters, and this good judgment comes from wisdom and discipline from God.
A Proverbs 31 woman is a seeker of wisdom.She seeks to discover an understanding of what is true.In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus tells us, “But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Be not therefore anxious for the morrow: for the morrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”(Matthew 6:33-34).
Proverbs 31:30 says, “Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; But a woman that feareth Jehovah, she shall be praised.” It seems odd to equate fear with confidence.Yet, God is not terrifying.The fear of the Lord does not bring panic, alarm or dread. Fear of the Lord is an extreme awe or reverence for who He is and what He can do.The Proverbs 31 woman knows her position in God’s kingdom, and walks in faith and trust.Her faith shows in her actions.Mary knew that she faced a life of difficulty, yet she praised God for His blessing.She did not boast, instead she was humble before the greatness of the Lord, and it is from this point that she understands her place in His Kingdom.As we heard in Proverbs 1, “The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of knowledge.”
We should be like the Proverbs 31 woman whose fear in the Lord is a visible part of her life.We should have that spiritual confidence that is shown in every aspect of our life.Trusting in God, rather than ourselves, we will walk in the light of Christ and be trustworthy, generous, and competent.We will show godly shrewdness and seek the wisdom of our Lord.The final virtue, spiritual confidence, is the one virtue upon which all the others rest.
In Christ, we can do all things.
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